From "The Greatest Novel Ever Written" by John Blandly

Why do men like to have at least one son?  Because they want someone to talk to?  Kind of.  Actually, men don’t want to talk to anybody, but they don’t mind telling people stuff.

I’ll occasionally find myself collaring my son Del, now age 11, to have a chat. Like the other day. I said, “Wait a minute, Del. Come here and sit down.  I want to talk to you.”  His eyes started to roll.

“I’m going over to Kevin’s. What?”

“Just sit down for a second. O.K.?”

He sits down at the kitchen table. I take a seat opposite him.

“You know Mike Birkbeck?”  I ask him.

“Who?”

“Mike Birkbeck, Del. Of the Mets. I can’t believe it.  The team sold him to Japan.  Japan!  He was, like, their best pitcher. I don’t get it, Del.  Do you think they can just sell his contract like that? I mean, doesn’t he have any say about that?”

“Probably not,” he says, consigned to the unknowability of the world.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.  O.K.  See you.”

Sometimes a guy just has to tell somebody else what’s bothering him.