From "Excuse me, where is the exit?" by Stella Deleuze

It's time to leave and everyone puts on their coat. Meaning three of you - the one you can't stand doesn't. A very important rule for being a real British girl is to go out nearly naked, even in the winter. The less you wear the more you deserve to be called British, well stupid British to be precise. You'd rather not be labelled like this and therefore are wrapped up in several layers.

Freezing to death - as much as you're suffering and said you want to die the past week, you wouldn't take it this far. Once you're over your ex, you'll be able to enjoy life again. No need for such drastic actions. Outside, the cold wind blows into your face. The 'naked' girl shakes violently. No surprises there then.

From "The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland" by Barbara Silkstone

American Alice believes she’s found her White Rabbit in the charming Brit, Nigel Channing...

At that very moment, a shadowy figure ran up to us and flung a fistful of what smelled like rotten fish at Nigel, I was collateral damage. Another guy ran up, and swearing in French, flung a second wad of goo.

Nigel took it in his stride. “Jump back on the boat, love. I’ll lead them away.” He turned and sprinted down the road with the fish-flingers in hot pursuit.

I leaped from the seawall to the empty dinner boat managing to get my high heeled feet on the deck while grasping the horizontal safety rope with both hands. My feet slipped and the weight of my butt pulled me off balance. I dangled from the ropes with my nose pressed against the germy hull.

Think. Think. I pushed off from the hull with my forehead trying to reach the seawall with my feet. I scraped my brow. This had to be my imagination. If I hung on long enough I would wake up.

Using my velvet pumps, I tried to hook onto the seawall but both shoes loosened and fell into the river. My mind raced. If Nigel didn’t return and I hung there, would anyone find me? I wasn’t about to let go and fall into the Seine in a cocktail dress.