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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

From "Where Does the 500LB Alien Sleep?" a story in "Tips for Tailoring Spacetime Fabric -- Vol. 1" by Roger Bourke White Jr.

Tips for Tailoring Spacetime Fabric : Vol. 1
The great ape was advancing on me—slowly, carefully, ready to spring at any moment. I stood there, longknife in hand, ready to meet its ferocious charge with a single life-draining thrust. Behind me, the princess was clinging to my bare back, her arms wrapped about my thickly muscled chest. She was waiting for me to overcome this final obstacle. The monster looked fierce, but with her soft body pressed close to mine, I felt I had the strength of ten.

The ape closed. He was about to spring, when he slowly raised his great paw and said in a soft, feminine voice, “How many fingers am I holding up?”


I squinted at his massive paw. I couldn’t tell. Was this some sort of trick?

“How many fingers am I holding up?” he insisted.

His paw was fading. The princess was fading. I opened my eyes. There was a female human there holding a hand in front of my face. She said again, “How many fingers?”

I didn’t care. I felt miserable. I concentrated hard on it … God! I’m not sure I can count that high!

“Three,” I finally croaked.

“Good. You’re coming out in a satisfactory fashion.

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