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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

From "The Armpit of Evil" by Joe Mirabello

The door's expression drooped. “Giveth me the 'Secret Words' and leave me to my sorrow.”

The secret words are 'Open, Dammit',” Sinistario said.

The door sucked in its breath and clucked its tongue at Sinistario with disapproval.

Thou has not spoken correctly,” the door informed them. “For thine own security, all secret words must include at least one number.”

Oh, please. 'Open, Dammit 01'. Happy now?”

Nay.” The door sniffled, a sniffle brimming with tears of families torn asunder and the yelps of infant animals sacrificed to the nameless evil depths of the world. But within the door's deep voice, there was also the sound of stones grinding and gears working inside the Citadel. A sharp 'click' sounded and the door swung open. A black hall waited beyond.

You first.” Victorious nodded at Sinistario. “Don't try anything clever,” he muttered, turning his attention to the door. “Stay open, door. I don't want to end up trapped in this Hellhole.”

Thine mother is a Hellhole,” the door called after him.

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