It should have been enough...
I don't know why I didn't let him be there for me when I needed him most, when he was able to help me, when there was something from me worth saving. I don't know why I failed them so completely. I don't know why I let myself become what I now am.
...what have I done...
The rain is coming down harder now, each drop larger than the one before it. I look up, but the water keeps me from seeing the menacing sky, illuminated only briefly but a silent crash of light. My hair is fallen and becoming matted to my forehead. I can feel the stain spread across my chest, and the water streaking down my cheeks in rivers, as though the world were crying in my stead. I must look an awful mess; and yet I will look so much worse in so short a time, as I squeeze the rubber grip in my hand, resting the steel comfortably against my thigh. The barrel is still warm from being so recently in use.
...I can still see his eyes...
Odd, I think, to end here, alone in the rain...
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