So you would know my story? How, with a single ship and its crew of a scant three thousand—each with no more physical capability than one of you humans!—I came to be Emperor of your alien planet of nine billion people, most of whom name it after its dirt? And Protector of the rest of your Solar System, with its other billion?
Others have told this tale … and told it, and told it, and told it again over dozens of your years. But though many have wished for the truth from my own mouth, I have resisted, I know not fully why. The theories that your xenopsychologists have published have amused but not convinced me. But now I am old, and my place as Emperor is strangely secured by my ill health—my enemies find it prudent to wait for my natural death! So while all is as good for me as it’s going to get, I am moved to recount the great tale at last.